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So don't you over complicate it

May 28, 2017
' I got big dreams baby, I got big dreams baby. So don't you over complicate it'

This is a lyric from one my favourite artist Ellie Goulding song ' Don't panic', & is about overthinking & over complicating things in our mind. Something I'm all too familiar with, however it's something I've been working on. Not long ago I struggled with anxiety, and it's something which still affects me from time to time, however it dosen't take over my life like it used too.

From the end of high school right up until I was 21 was probably when I struggled the most. I was so anxious all the time. I used to spend so much of time not doing things I wanted to do because my brain would talk me out of it. Some days simple things tasks such as taking a bus or going to the supermarket seemed impossible. I spent most of my days in a constant state of fear, it was horrible and not how I wanted to continue living. I wasn't aware at the time what was happening, and I was afraid to open up to anyone. Most of the time I felt very alone in my struggles, which led me to becoming very unhappy. At the time I had no idea what to do, & I felt like I was isolating myself from people I was close with. It wasn't until I came across a video from a famous you-tuber who openly talked about her anxiety struggles to make me realise what was going on.

I knew I wanted to change, and it's something I worked really hard at. It wasn't easy, I had to completely change my state of mind which took a lot of work. It's something I did on my own, and I read a lot and listened to other people's experiences to learn & apply that to myself. The thing about anxiety is that it is so different for everyone, so one thing that works for someone might not work for someone else. I had to figure out what was holding me back and work through that.

Slowly  my mindset started to change, and my anxiety stopped controlling my life. I started doing stuff without feeling the sense of fear I used too, and things that I once couldn't do didn't seem so daunting anymore. I've stopped talking myself out of things, or over complicating things so much in my brain, & for once I feel like I can turn off the side my of brain which was once holding me back.

It's a little scary opening up about things like this, especially to the inter-webs but lately I've been reading more posts about people opening up and I think it helps to make more people realise that you are normal & you are not alone in your feelings. If it wasn't for a you-tuber opening up about her anxiety it probably would of taken me a lot longer to figure mine out. 

This is only a short post, I could probably ramble on for a lot longer but I didn't want to do that. I just wanted to let anyone who may be struggling that you are not alone. What might be holding you back now won't be forever, you got this. & if you ever need someone to talk to then I am always here, no matter who you are.

Em x

Life, oh life, ohhhh life.

April 28, 2017

Hellooooo. I swear I've created blogs on and off again for the last 5 years, so the chances of me sticking to this one are slim to none but y'know thought I'd give it another shot. I'm a big thinker, and sometimes I get so lost in my own thoughts I don't even know where I am. I guess this blog is a chance for me to spill out some of those thoughts in the off chance it might clear up some room in my head. My life isn't overly exciting but I always enjoy reading blogs that are more relatable so hopefully, you do as well. 

Life Updates

It's the end of April and I'm kind of like okay where have the first four months of this year gone and what have I actually done this year. This year started out kind of weird and I made a few changes in my life.

I left my job in February that I had been at for nearly 3 years, moved out of my flat that I had been at for 3 years and then left a city I had lived in for nearly 6 years. I don't really know why, to be honest. I guess I was just feeling bored, uninspired and I wasn't that happy with where I was and needed a change. I also wasn't in the best mindset and needed some time to chill out and do some soul searching (just joking, who can be bothered with that). 2017 didn't really start out how I thought it would but that's fine. I realised certain things that happened were for the best and I learnt a lot from them which is the main thing.

But seriously, changing things up has been the best thing I have ever done and I feel very happy and chill with life right now. I've been able to focus on my studies which is the most important thing to me right now, focus on my health and whatnot & save some $$ (not walking down Lambton Quay every day has done wonders for my savings). I've also had more time to hang out with my two nieces who are 3 and 6 which has been the best. I will however be moving to another city at the end of June as I am getting a little restless and need some independence back in my life. 

I also had my 23rd birthday, growing up I always thought that when I turned 23 I'd be married, have babies and have a successful adult job. I currently have none of those and the first two probably won't happen for a while, but you know what? That's 100% cool with me because I don't really want all of those things right now. I'm happy with where I am and that's the most important thing. 

If you've read this whole thing then yay thank you, let's be friends. I've always enjoyed writing blogs, and its something I've wanted to start up again but have kept talking myself out of, but no more of that. 2017 is the year I actually start doing all the things I keep telling myself I want to do. I've got a few things I want to write about in the future so keep an eye out. Will most likely (hopefully) update on a Sunday night. Hope you've had a lovely weekend!

Em x
(cheesy asf photo but its kind of cute also credit to my sister Hanna)